Divorce: Men Do Not Hold all the Cards—The Qur’an Actually Levels the Playing Field Through Mandated Process and Etiquette

Abstract

Divorce is a huge topic of concern for God in the Qur’an. Even as He makes clear that it is His least-favourable solution to marital discord and even as He counsels a period of reflection and even recommends mediation, God makes explicit His commandment that the divorce process be kind and fair to women in contrast to the then-prevailing customs. But custom to this day has been neither kind nor fair to women: the “wedding-knot” ( ‘isma) has been deemed by society to be held solely by the man, limiting a woman’s ability to obtain a divorce at all, much less a fair one. This has often also impacted women’s access to their own children upon divorce, surely a most unkind situation, one that is only emboldened by the false idea that men are “guardians” of women as it makes them feel even more entitled to be the sole guardians of their children.